It’s been almost 2 years since I did a pushloop or backloop.
So even though there would not be a worldcup in Pozo this year, I flew to pozo as SOON as I could to spread my wings again. I was dying to soar through the air, fling myself into a pushloop and feel weightless for a split second before spotting my landing.
I really needed to feel that rush again.
I’ve been freestyling a lot, and making the most of the conditions I have at home, but after my first couple of jumps in pozo I realized again how badly I want to learn the double forward and push forward one day. This is my biggest goal in windsurfing at the moment.
I just totally want to push those boundaries for women.
I feel like I was in the right mental state to try doubles about 3 years ago, but after 2019 never really got the chance to train them. So my main goal this year was to land a double forward before I turned 30 on the 4th of July.
But I think for most of the trip I hit a mental wall. I could not get myself to hold on for the 2nd rotation, I would slow down before the jump, or freeze when the ramp was right.
2 weeks into the trip I still hadn’t tried any. That’s when Tomer Shamgar from Israël said “Just pull it”. After 2 hours sailing back and forth I got so upset with myself that I just lost it once a big ramp came towards me. I saw Tomer sailing in my direction, I shut down my mind and just pulled and held on. I felt this crazy adrenaline going into the second rotation and thought I would magically land it, but instead slapped pretty badly on the back of my head and lost the board. Half an hour later my knee turned stiff, so I guess I also punched myself with my elbow or something. I don’t remember. Pons came to ask me twice if I was okay, apparently it was super vertical and just looked savage haha.
But man, finally, I held on! I was shaking for 40 minutes after but it was such a liberating feeling. After that I was less and less scared to try and could actually think about the move rather than closing my eyes and hoping for the best.
So I started to try at least one every session.
Unfortunately I didn’t land the double before my 30th or before the end of the trip.
So I’m gutted, and mostly just frustrated. Not because I think it’s so hard, but more because I didn’t completely find a way to get over the fear of doing the double.
That feeling of holding back because of fear is so frustrating. AAAHHH!!! That feeling drove me crazy the whole trip. I remember I had it with pushloops and stalled forwards but I managed to get past those and it’s such a rewarding feeling when you do so.
In Freestyle you can try a move over and over again, but backslapping on a double forward over and over in one session is not really an option. I put so much pressure on myself to do it that I ended up unhappy after my sessions very often! I was hell bent on wanting to wave sail only that I skipped freestyle sessions and would imagine waves when there weren’t any.
So ultimately I left Pozo feeling unsatisfied and unable to complete my goals.
But looking back, I am 10 tries closer to landing a double now. I have insane control on my forwards, I’m going higher on my stalled forwards and I can still do some cool tweaked pushloops Also a totally unexpected highlight was landing really good backside 360’s every session and I landed my firstgoyter.
Which I couldn’t do 2 years ago. I improved in areas I was less focused on and in the end that is such a big plus. In that sense the trip was a success.
Besides that it was awesome to share sessions with Oda again, thanks for the follow cam action! The BBQ’s on Kai’s rooftop were super chill as always and above everything it was great to see so many of my windsurfing friends again after a long time!
Hopefully that double forward comes sooner than later though hahaha! Wish me luck!